Surprisingly, Jake had no problems when mom left the classroom. He adjusted to the new setting and started talking to a little girl he knew. The day went great, and Jake made all sorts of fun activities, like painting and playing with his classmates. Jake was having fun at the nursery, but for few weeks, he had to adjust to the new set of activities and rules. His confidence grew gradually, and in just few months, he become more articulate and chatty. If all parents would have kids like Jake, the first nursery day would be a delight!

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The organized, supportive environment of such parent groups enabled parents to discuss freely their problems. As you might understand, discussing the behavior problems is not something easy to do, with people that have never been there. A case manager guided each group. This health specialist evaluated parents’s case and tried to provide them with effective support and useful techniques for ameliorating the behavior problem. Parents reported highly positive results, by improving their parenting skills and by finding the motivation they needed all along to cope with their kids’ behavior.

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Seraphina < Hebrew ‘Seraphim’ = which means six-winged angels.
Rose < a flower name
Elizabeth < middle name with a royal resonance.
It takes time to find the perfect combination of middle names, no matter if you have a baby boy or a baby girl. The above example clearly illustrates that carefully chosen names, with a special meaning, are ideal for depicting the personality of the child. Together, middle names should sound elegant, harmonious and meaningful, and the Ben-Jennifer couple has managed to achieve this perfectly.

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Play Dates As Preparation

Children should become used to and be able to feel comfortable in social settings where neither parent is present for a period of time. One good way to ensure that this can be reinforced is by arranging play dates with other children where a network of parents take turns, with perhaps two of the parents acting as the supervisors and several children being dropped off at one house or even at a playground for a few hours, with the other parents leaving and heading off for those couple or few hours to run errands or just relax. Start slow with play dates that are just two children, switching turns, then if you are lucky enough to build a network of friends with children of similar ages, it is especially good if the child gets to meet new friends in a small groups, as when they enter nursery school they are going to meet LOTS of new people. By the way, birthday parties don’t really count, even though they’re fun.

Is Your Child Ready?

It’s always a good idea to visit the school with your child before he or she actually starts, meets the teacher and gets a glimpse of what it’s going to be like. Also, make sure your child is ready. Unless absolutely necessary because both parents will be working, your child may simply not be ready for nursery school. The child should have reasonably good communication skills, the ability to follow instructions from another adult, be able to go to the bathroom alone, and should be able to get along well with other children.

Also, try to talk up the experience of going to school as something that you enjoyed when YOU were that age and how much you learned and how much fun you had. Watch videos or pick out books and read them with or to your child that are about school and compare it to the school that they will be attending. On the BIG day, make sure that everything is ready, clothes picked out and ready without a fuss, and perhaps let them bring a favorite stuffed animal with them. You should check with the school of course if this is allowed.

Consequences

Children must learn that there are consequences to their actions and that misbehavior, when pointed out to the child and after being warned in language that they can understand that there will be punishment if it happens again- you must follow through. Control your temper. Yelling scares children and is not needed. Yes, it’s hard not to raise your voice sometimes but a stern, serious voice in this parent’s experience is better than yelling.

Appropriate Behavior

One of the most difficult concepts to get across to a young child is that there are different behaviors for different places and situations. It’s okay to get up during Sesame Street and dance and sing the song in the living room but it’s not okay to break out in a verse of “Rubber Duckie” in church. “Why not, Mommy?” Appropriate behaviors must be taught gently, not by punishing, but by reasoning. And children have to learn to reason. It doesn’t come naturally. It happens slowly and you must be patient. The worst thing perhaps is when we find ourselves as parents laughing instead of trying to correct the behavior if no real harm is being done. It’s a fine line to walk.

Strict Rules

We said it before. Follow through. If you have a rule and the child has been warned and is of an age where he or she understands the rule and what the consequences are, if the child breaks the rule? The punishment MUST be dealt. And the punishment should fit the crime, so to speak. Discuss punishment with your child and explain, even ask them if they think the punishment is fair for a broken rule and let them play an active role in forming good behavioral patterns.

United Front

Good cop, bad cop when it comes to this doesn’t play well in parenting in this writer’s opinion. Parents should always agree in front of a child, and try to act like they agree even if they don’t. Do your arguing in private, but always present a united front together in front of the child. And don’t pass responsibility off to the other parent with words like, “You just wait until your father gets home.” It isn’t fair to the father and it isn’t fair to the child.

Punishment

This debate rages on and will never be won or lost. I have three kids, and I think I swatted my oldest daughter’s butt once with a light hand when she was about 3 or 4. There was never any spanking, but my children have told me that in later years that there was physical punishment when I was not around. To my mind, physical punishment is strictly out when it comes to children.

Sometimes, relatives want to get into the act and lobby for naming your soon to be bundle of joy after them or some other relative, but the decision is the responsibility of the parents, plain and simple, and both parents should agree 100 % on a child’s name, unless you have made a deal where you get to take turns, lets say where the husband names the boys and the wife names the girls. Not recommended!

Your baby won’t care about its name at first but names are incredibly important. Some religions even have strict rules, as in the Jewish faith, which is not the topic of this article, but in general, the same rules of common sense apply to naming all children.

Remember one thing. Children can be incredibly cruel. We don’t know where they get it from, it’s probably part of being human, left over from caveman days, establishing a pecking order in the classroom and the playground and schoolyard, and if your child has a name that can easily be made fun of, you can guarantee that it will be.

Also, avoid “cutesy” names, or “oddball” names. Many of us loved Frank Zappa’s music, but frown upon him having given his children names like Moon Unit, Diva, Dweezil, and Ahmet Rodan. Maybe it’s okay if you’re rich and you can get away with it, but it’s too much like the sad story told in the Johnny Cash hit written by Shel Silverstein, “A Boy Named Sue.”

Also, consider your child’s middle name too. And especially, his or her initials. True story, this writer’s first name is William, and when I was on a bowling team in a Saturday league as a youngster, everyone had their initials on their bowling ball, and when I got my own ball I asked for my initials on it and my mother said, “No.”

Why no? My initials are W.O.P. and we lived in an Italian neighborhood.

True story. We compromised and I got BOP inscribed, for Bill.

What were famed baseball pitcher Randy Johnson’s parent’s thinking when they named him? Or legendary race car driver’s Dick Trickle’s?

We think it’s nice for a child to have a name that sounds good when used in full and that also has built in or natural nicknames.

Michael is Mike, Susan is Sue, mundane but safe. Exotic and offbeat names that express the parents’ political or social views are cruel to a child. Your name forms your identity to a certain extent.

It’s lovely to name a child after a cherished ancestor and often this is a good way to compromise for parents with strong opinions about first names. This is where taking turns is okay. And don’t use the middle name to honor a deceased relative if it can be mocked, because it will be.

Know Your Expectations

Grab a piece of paper and write down what you normally do for your child on a day to day basis. Anything that requires more attention than you feel most children would or is very special to them, put a star next to it. Below that, write out the following:

• What characteristics would your ideal caretaker have? Personality, education, past experience?
• How will your family interact with the caretaker?
• What additional jobs will you require the caretaker to do?
• What hours are mandatory for them to be there, what are not?
• Set what you can afford to offer them for a salary and benefits as well. Be descriptive.

Screening Your Nanny

Start scheduling appointments to meet the nanny’s you’ve found through your search. When they arrive at your house, treat the situation like an interview. Use your sheet to provide them with information about your child and the responsibilities to make sure they’re up for the task. Then, ask them questions that will provide you with the information you need to see if they fit your requirements. Having a checklist for each interview will allow you to go back and determine which candidate is best suited to be your nanny.

After you narrow your candidates down, invite them back for a second interview. This time, include your child. Watch how they interact and see how your child reacts with them. Don’t assume that just because your child doesn’t like them that they don’t have the necessary skills, but again, don’t rely solely on their resume.

Background Check

If the second interview went well, request the following from your prospective nanny:

• References
• Information to do a criminal background check
• Information to do a driving record check
• Full name
• Address
• Date of birth
• Social Security Number
• Drivers license number and state
• Signature
• Any hesitation on the part of the candidate should result in you no longer considering them.